Grief is hard work ! Just plain exhausting. A year ago, I (the Scrapster) lost my best friend, mentor and sister Shadow, the best Black Lab in the world! Hard to believe she has been gone a whole year! Missing her is practically a daily occurance.
I know my family grieves for her too. People seem to grieve in their own individual way for friends they have lost, friends who have gone to far away Heaven and that's okay. It must work for them. Some like to talk about their lost friend and tell stories over and over about all the special memories they have had together, some just cry (alot) People surrounding those who have recently LOST a friend never know quite how to act or what exactly they should say (or not say) Mostly, many feel it's better to just avoid the subject, talk about other things...they seem to be hoping to take their mind off that lost friend, but in reality,...It never works. The truth is that their grief and sadness consumes their every waking moment, especially at first. Missing a friend just hurts. Time helps soften that pain, but missing a friend can leave a huge hole in your heart, change the way one looks the world, change a person completely. Sometimes for the better (It can make them more compassionate), but sometimes it takes a long while for them to come around. People who have lost someone often remember them in special ways with memorials, letting balloons go, hanging a Christmas stocking, planting trees, shrubs or flowers in their honor... or simply buying gifts for complete strangers who remind them of the person they have lost. Sadly, grief can sometimes leave a person angry and bitter. They might not want to get out of bed, they might never want to give up the belongings of the one they've lost...they may not want to wash the clothes or bedding that they slept in. These are all normal human feelings and ways that people seem to cope. Some just need MORE time. Never push. Never question. Just be there and Listen. Say you are sorry! Remember their loved one's birth and death date. Send them a card and let them know you care. In time, they will be okay. Never the same, but okay. And one day (there is no real time frame) they will smile and laugh again, although they might feel a little guilty at first. Their steps will be slow and small at first, but the healing is in the walking. One foot in front of the other. Just moving forward...the hole in their heart still there, yes...but hope is now filling in all around it. Their lost loved one now watches over them from above and Someday, not in the too distant future, they shall meet up with their long lost SHADOW again at the gate.